Dear Carson,

Five years ago today I was anxiously waiting in the hospital for your arrival. You were a bit late and we were all tired of pacing and waiting for the maternity ward to clear out so they could admit me. I was scared to go through labor, scared to be a "real" mom, but oh so excited to see you and begin. That first night in the hospital room, after everyone had left, it was just me and you. I counted your ten fingers and toes, touched your perfect face and inhaled all the sweet baby breath I could. I remember changing your diaper, by myself, which is a small thing, but huge for a first time mom on her own in the middle of the night. I put you in a cute sleeper and snuggled you back up next to me and said "I'm your mama." I promised you I'd do everything I could to be the perfect mama to you, teach you everything I knew, make sure you always felt loved and protected by your family. 5 years later, we've made some mistakes along the way. I haven't always been the perfect mom, I haven't always held my temper when I should have, and I sometimes get overwhelmed with daily life. But I still love you just the same as I did that day, that whole, consuming love that only parents can feel for their child.

You've grown up so quickly, so beautifully, that it feels seamless. You've finally grown past the baby, toddler and "little boy" stage...and I can see the Big Boy hiding inside, just below the surface. You are sweet, caring, thoughtful to your family. You love to learn and are so smart it surprises Dad and me. You have a funny wit and love to laugh and are almost never still. You have a bit of a temper, but you got it honest, so I can't fault you for that.

Dad and I are always remarking how much you've changed, how quickly you grow and mature, and we can't wait to see what you become next. Lucky Us, we get to be your parents and watch you.

Happy Birthday, Darling Boy!